Driving Armenia
The Road to Alevirdi
I can’t figure out all the features of my brand new fully optioned
Suzuki S X Cross. The manual that came with it is in Russian, so the clock is
still 20 minutes fast. I need to burn some CDs because the radio only
plays Armenian folk songs and Russian pop music. Until recently I have been
getting around by taxi, old Russian Volgas that drive like tractors, or
squeezing in to little boxy Ladas nicotine yellow on the ceiling vinyl. Most
taxi drivers have more lucky charms bobbing about on their dashboards than a
dancing witch doctor. Real rabbits feet, or
bits of fury skin that I am guessing are from a Yeti, crucifixes, Turkish evil eyes hanging
like grapes from key rings, little elephants with jewels on their head and
pictures of saints and patriarchs, Jesus and Mary, hallelujah. And driving
with them I know how they feel, you need all the road luck you can get
here. So I have hung a rosary from my rear view mirror and stuck a little panel
of Jesus, Mary and some orthodox patriarch on my dashboard. I trust in God but
I also installed a little
camera which records every journey in case a voodoo
spangled vodka breathed taxi driver or rogue elephant bus driver is feeling too lucky at my
expense.I am thinking Armenian people often seem to be afraid of spaces. Like
you can be sitting at a table with 6 people and everyone is talking, actually
it sounded like arguing but I have learned this is just the Armenian way of
very engaged conversation. And I look around and everyone, I mean all six of my
friends are talking at once. At first this was a mystery but then I
surmised everyone was worried about leaving a space in the conversation that
someone might move into, so they all moved in together. And I have also
noticed this in queues at the airport, if I leave a small space in front of me
then someone will see that space and think that I don’t want it and move into
it. I am learning that the traffic works in a similar way. If you
leave a couple of car lengths between you and the car in front, someone moves
in to fill the space. The effect of this is that about every 2 kilometers there
is a rear end collision. You know because the cars have to stay in place on the
road until the police get there and check things out. It all seems very
civilized. When someone runs into the back of someone else, the drivers get out
and shake hands, then when the police arrive they all shake hands again. I
don’t know what happens after that, but I suspect that sooner or later I will
find out first hand.There are many positives about driving here. One
incredibly civilized aspect is that traffic fines only cost between $12.50 and
$25.00, a lot for locals but affordable for me. And there is a nine kilometer
an hour grace on speed, so in a 50km an hour zone you can drive at 59 km per
hour. And the upside of people cutting in in front of you without warning
is that you are graciously allowed to do whatever you like with or without
indicators and it seems perfectly natural and up to others to get out of
your way. One slightly disconcerting driving trait is that most drivers seem to
cut corners. So if you are on the inside lane you expect the drivers in the
outer lane just to cut straight across in front of you, no fuss, no guilt, no
indicators. It seems that one assumes this is expected and so to give way or
beat them to the corner. When you want to make a turn into incoming
traffic you just inch forward to the point that other cars can no long swerve
to miss you, in fact you are now blocking their lane and then you proceed with
your turn as though getting out of their way is a favor to them.And then there
is the joyful use of horns. In the West a horn is often a questionable
instrument. In the United States you use it in the wrong place someone in front
may get out of the car in front and shoot you. In Australia they can be like
some accessory that is too good to throw away but not much use. But here
they are used to express the full range of driving emotions. I have noticed
that if one of my friends makes a particular unexpected veer into the lane of a
trailing road user, they will react with a horn of distress from behind which
is quickly followed by my fiends retaliatory horn to the road in front of
us. My use of horn is mainly directed towards buses the size of whales
which pull out from the side of the road without any awareness of we smaller
fish who just happen to be swimming past.I think the only really disconcerting
aspect of driving here is that every so often one encounters an oligarch in a
black, top of the range, BMW or Mercedes four wheel drive, with black tinted
windows, gleaming chrome and sometimes a trailing body guard car. They are
beating three lanes of bumper to bumper traffic by crossing the double lines
and hurling themselves down the wrong side of the road into your path. I guess
if they get stopped the fine is only $25.00 which is nothing if you have the
wealth to live in something that looks like the Palace at Versailles and
survive the drive. And it is the same at crossroads, it doesn’t matter about
the rules of right of way, the oligarch in the black Hummer has the rule book
that we all follow. I am guessing there are a lot of lucky charms on
their dashboards too.
No comments:
Post a Comment